Tag Archives: life

I Love You…

life, marriage, relationships

Those three words are said every day, many times, and in many different languages.

But WHAT IS LOVE? Is it actions, feelings or emotions, thoughts, or words? Is it all of those things rolled into one? How do you show it? How does it feel? What does it look like? Can it last forever? Can you fall in love and out of love…with the same person or people? How long does it take to love someone?

It’s been said that our parents are the first demonstrators of love to us. What happens when you don’t know your parents or don’t like your parents? Can you still love without parental “example”?

People have spent a life time searching for love. When you think you’ve found it in another person, life blooms for you. Then, as people do, they disappoint you. Does that mean they don’t love you? When trials happen in relationships, love is tested and questioned.

I believe love is something innate in us when we are formed in our mother’s wombs. The gift of life itself is love. How we show love in our thoughts, words, and actions and how we receive love greatly depends on our experiences.

“Love is an unconditional commitment, to an imperfect person.” Unknown

Whenever I think about love and the people I love, I try to embrace this verse:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Because I love and am loved, I commit to always hoping and persevering.

Signed,

Hopeful Romantic

NOTE: Featured photograph not my own

Health Check

life,

On April 1, 2014 I went to the doctor to get a bump on my jaw checked out. My doctor noticed my thyroid was enlarged. She ordered an ultrasound of both my thyroid and the bump on my jaw. When I got the results of that back, I learned I had a tumor on my left thyroid AND a tumor on my right parotid gland (jaw). I then had to undergo an MRI and a fine needle biopsy. I had to start seeing an endocrinologist (I saw 4 before I found “the right one”) too. Every doctor was convinced I needed surgery. I didn’t want to do that, but reluctantly scheduled surgery for June 2014.

In the meantime I decided to change my lifestyle, in the hopes these tumors would go away holistically. In May, I stopped eating meat and began an exercise program. At the very least, I’d be in better shape for surgery. 5 days before my surgery, my grandmother (who helped raise me) was killed in a tragic car accident. Surgery was cancelled, and I had a chance to re-evaluate my situation. Once I regrouped, I decided to see a holistic specialist. She gave me a long list of herbs and vitamins to try but ultimately was no help.

At this point (August) I visited the 3rd endocrinologist and the recommendation was surgery yet again. I continued to work out and maintain my diet. I was seeing some small results. After having 3 children in 4 years my body was having a difficult time getting back into shape quickly. In November, I saw the last endocrin doctor, and she agreed to monitor the tumors and allow me to wait on surgery. She ordered another ultrasound (it had been 6 months since my first one). The report showed the tumors had grown. So now surgery was not optional.

April 1, 2015 I got both tumors removed. Both were begin. I am recovering nicely and have gone back to work. I’ve lost a lot of weight. My hair (that had broken off and fallen out) has begun to grow back. I have more energy. I feel better. I didn’t notice the signs that my body was trying to give me. My thyroid function was showing up normal on every test, so I wasn’t very concerned. Even though, I tried to avoid surgery…I’m really glad I went through with it and my body thanks me for it.

I’m nowhere near an advocate for thyroid health, but I am all for paying attention to and taking care of your body. Whatever, you’ve been putting off regarding your health…stop and pay attention to it — your body will thank you!

at the end of the rainbow

life,

Everyone’s always heard that at the end of a rainbow you’ll find a pot of gold, right?

Well, the things I’ve experienced lately prompted me to think about “the end of the rainbow.” Sure, if the rainbow is the ROYGBIV type then I imagine there very well could be a pot of gold and leprechauns at the end. But what’s at the end or over, when the storm before the rainbow is a problem, trial, difficult time, or goal you’ve been trying to reach?

I’ve been in a very trying space lately. When one thing went wrong, everything else went right along with it. Sure, there was plenty of good along the way, but it’s hard to appreciate the good when the bad weighs so heavy. This time was so consuming I lost the fervor for what I love most — writing. I wasn’t in the mindset to write clearly…that felt debilitating to me. While going through, I saw this time as a hurdle that I knew I would get over but just didn’t know when. Not knowing was most frustrating.

Today, looking beyond that moment, the skies ahead are finally clearing, the sun is peeking out, and I can see a rainbow. I can even get a glimpse of the end of the rainbow. At the end of my rainbow is not a pot of gold, in the literal sense. At the of my rainbow and over the rainbow is peace, happiness, joy, and love — truly “golden” treasures.

So I guess you do find a “pot of gold” at the end of a rainbow after all.

Super(wo)man

life, relationships, ,

“It’s a bird.” “It’s a plane.” It’s Superman…no…wait…that’s a woman?!??!

Our society has been hit by an epidemic…. The Superwoman complex. Women do it all. We bear children, care for those children, care for our homes and our men, and contribute financially to our family. Oh and we do all of that while maintaining our own selves (eating healthy, working out, looking presentable). These things have become the norm for women, it’s what expected. Even though doing all of those things are a lot and simply can be overwhelming, those things alone don’t make us superwomen.

The superwoman complex is when we do all of what’s “expected” and the things a man should be doing. That life looks like this: taking out the trash, fixing the broken things around the house, maintaining the car, tooting our own horn, giving ourselves affirmations and accolades- while being a mother, being a wife, working, and keeping ourselves up.

I’m not saying that women can’t do all of these things but we shouldn’t be. I was raised by a woman who did it all, by herself, because she had to. In those situations, we just have to do what we have to do. However, I am a firm believer in roles. In situations where roles apply – Men: Step up. Lend a helping hand. Give support where needed. Do the things you do best. Let your lady be a lady. Your efforts will be greatly appreciated. Ladies: Release control. Let your man be the man. Take a step back and allow yourself to be treated like a lady. I am definitely wearing the entire Superwoman costume right now, cape included, but I’m so ready to shed and share the load.

Ladies we can wear an “S” on our chest but it can mean much more than Superwoman (super supportive, sensational, sweet, sultry…just to name a few).

Checked Out.

life, relationships,

You’ve given everything your all, and you can’t give anymore because then you’d be giving away bits and pieces of yourself. Have you ever reached that moment? It’s a very dangerous place to be in. When you just don’t care simply because you can’t care. There is hope that you can bounce back from these moments and be checked in again, but I’m sure it comes with loads of hard work and dedication. When you consider the reasons you checked out in the first place, you feel reluctant to check in again.

This moment is to be alone. Alone with your thoughts. Alone with the very fibers that make you who you are. You look at yourself, your needs, and your wants under a microscope. You re-evaluate the negoatiables and non-negotiables in your life. What will you deal with? What won’t you?

This moment is to be refreshed. Refresh your mind. Refresh you spirit. Refresh your soul. Find and do what makes YOU happy, because this moment is to be selfish. Do the things that make you whole again, because this moment is also to be broken. Broken hearted. Broken minded. Broken spirited.

I am here, in this moment. I am all of these things.

New Year, New You…Blah

family, life, marriage, , , , , ,

res-o-lu-tion: the act of answering (solving)

With the turning of a new year comes change, hope, and rejuvenation. People contemplate long and hard on how to reinvent themselves. Social media sites are swarming with resolutions and plans for change. I totally get it, you had a shitty year with your spouse; you were a mediocre parent; you didn’t give your all at work; you screwed up with your friends. Do you think just because the calendar turned, it’ll make all of last year’s heartbreak and disappointment disappear? No. Making resolutions are great. Creating a personal plan for change is excellent. However, “faith without works is dead.” If there is no action behind your resolution, it means nothing, People have to make that list of what they strive to do better in the new year. They simultaneously have to create an action plan.

I have 4 areas I want to strengthen this year:

1. Myself

2. My marriage

3. My family

4. My career

Action Plan:

* create a vision board

1. Continue therapy (tell all coming soon); Continue exercise plan

2. Continue therapy; Participate in husband challenge; Pray daily

3.Take a more gentle approach to parenting; Ignore the advice (aka criticism) from non-parents (a later soap box post)

4. Get certified in another area; Take the required credit classes for licensure renewal; Actively seek summer employment

The action plan is the solution of the resolution, without it you’d still be left with the same problems from last year.

Happy New Year!