To my beautiful brown children:
I love you.
From the moment I saw the two pink lines, I have loved you. Watching you grow, has given joy. Protecting you, has given me purpose. You are my world. I want the world for you and your children and your children’s children.
My prayer, my wish, my hope is that this world sustains itself long enough for you to fulfill your dreams and desires. I am sorry for the people who judge you based on the color of your skin. I am sorry for the people who mistreat you because of your background and ethnicity.
I know you are wonderfully made. I know you are intelligent. I know you have a purpose. I believe in you.
Don’t ever forget that your mommy and daddy are always in your corner…no matter us near or far or gone forever from this earth.
You are our beautiful brown children. We love you.
…Said no mother ever! In a home with children (I’m convinced of any age) there is ALWAYS noise. Before I had children I’d like to believe my hearing was pristine. Insert nearly 5 years, and hello hearing aides (not literally but at this rate, who knows what the future holds). I love my 3 children dearly. They are all unique and have something both simple and complex to bring to the family table. However, spending every waking moment with them over the last 2 weeks of winter break has been a test that I clearly did not study for. This test mostly consisted of days of fighting, whining, crying, and begging with a few minutes of laughter, smiling, singing, and gratitude. You’d think with my 10 years of teaching experience, I’d be used to all that encompasses childhood drama, BUT it’s something very different when it comes to your own children. It’s like they were born knowing the exact cord to pick to strum your guitar.
Today marks the last day of our precious extended mommy and kid time together (until Spring Break). While most teachers are dreading the wake up call back to reality tomorrow; I couldn’t be happier about returning to work. I’ve gained some true pearls of wisdom during this time. Most importantly, I am NOT cut out to be a stay-at-home-mom. No offense to SAHM’s — you have entered into a new level of awesomeness in my book! I’ve also learned that I do not want to add anymore children to our family (I don’t even want a pet right now). Thankfully, my husband made that a permanent solution a few months ago. However, if there was any doubt that we weren’t finished yet…now we are. Lastly, I’ve realized that this stage in my children’s life is by far the most precious. Even in midst of the noise, I will attempt to cherish every moment.
P.S. As I wrote this post I fed the kids breakfast, changed a diaper, and patched up a boo-boo all to the background noise of crying, fighting, and screaming. I’m reveling in the joys of motherhood!
res-o-lu-tion: the act of answering (solving)
With the turning of a new year comes change, hope, and rejuvenation. People contemplate long and hard on how to reinvent themselves. Social media sites are swarming with resolutions and plans for change. I totally get it, you had a shitty year with your spouse; you were a mediocre parent; you didn’t give your all at work; you screwed up with your friends. Do you think just because the calendar turned, it’ll make all of last year’s heartbreak and disappointment disappear? No. Making resolutions are great. Creating a personal plan for change is excellent. However, “faith without works is dead.” If there is no action behind your resolution, it means nothing, People have to make that list of what they strive to do better in the new year. They simultaneously have to create an action plan.
I have 4 areas I want to strengthen this year:
2. My marriage
3. My family
4. My career
* create a vision board
1. Continue therapy (tell all coming soon); Continue exercise plan
2. Continue therapy; Participate in husband challenge; Pray daily
3.Take a more gentle approach to parenting; Ignore the advice (aka criticism) from non-parents (a later soap box post)
4. Get certified in another area; Take the required credit classes for licensure renewal; Actively seek summer employment
The action plan is the solution of the resolution, without it you’d still be left with the same problems from last year.
Happy New Year!