Monthly Archives: June 2019

Love.

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I just want to be loved. Yes, I love myself; I think I’m fucking fly! I can still pull the attention of dudes. My friends think I complete our circle of baddies. But, I just want to be loved.

I want to be told it’s ok if after 3 children my stomach is a little pudgy and soft. I want to be assured that “Damn, you look good” when I put on that little black dress for date night. I want to be kissed. I want to be touched. I want my hair to be played in.

It’s missing. It’s missing from the one person I want to give it to me most. Summer Walker “Girls Need Love” keeps playing on repeat in my head. And, “Honesty, I’m trying to stay focused.”

Journey

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jour·ney

[ˈjərnē]

NOUN

  1. an act of traveling from one place to another:

VERB

  1. travel somewhere:

ORIGIN

Middle English: from Old French jornee ‘day, a day’s travel, a day’s work’ (the earliest senses in English), based on Latin diurnum ‘daily portion,’ from diurnus (see diurnal).
*Definition taken from Oxford Dictionaries · © Oxford University Press
As the end of this year ends and a new year begins, people often reflect. We hear about new plans, resolutions, changes that people desire to make to enhance their lives.
When I think about this time and about my life, I think of my journey. Over the past two years I have experienced some very rough patches in my life — with my mental health, in my marriage, in my family. I have dealt with depression; anxiety; thyroid tumor and surgery; weight gain; trust, loyalty, love; and death. I started personal cognitive therapy, medication, and couple’s therapy. This time last year, I couldn’t see past the moment. There were times when I wanted to give in and give up. I thought my marriage was going to end. I thought my life was going to end.
After a year of therapy I have gained knowledge, peace, and clarity. The moral of the story here is to never give up…on yourself.