Category Archives: life

Super(wo)man

life, relationships, ,

“It’s a bird.” “It’s a plane.” It’s Superman…no…wait…that’s a woman?!??!

Our society has been hit by an epidemic…. The Superwoman complex. Women do it all. We bear children, care for those children, care for our homes and our men, and contribute financially to our family. Oh and we do all of that while maintaining our own selves (eating healthy, working out, looking presentable). These things have become the norm for women, it’s what expected. Even though doing all of those things are a lot and simply can be overwhelming, those things alone don’t make us superwomen.

The superwoman complex is when we do all of what’s “expected” and the things a man should be doing. That life looks like this: taking out the trash, fixing the broken things around the house, maintaining the car, tooting our own horn, giving ourselves affirmations and accolades- while being a mother, being a wife, working, and keeping ourselves up.

I’m not saying that women can’t do all of these things but we shouldn’t be. I was raised by a woman who did it all, by herself, because she had to. In those situations, we just have to do what we have to do. However, I am a firm believer in roles. In situations where roles apply – Men: Step up. Lend a helping hand. Give support where needed. Do the things you do best. Let your lady be a lady. Your efforts will be greatly appreciated. Ladies: Release control. Let your man be the man. Take a step back and allow yourself to be treated like a lady. I am definitely wearing the entire Superwoman costume right now, cape included, but I’m so ready to shed and share the load.

Ladies we can wear an “S” on our chest but it can mean much more than Superwoman (super supportive, sensational, sweet, sultry…just to name a few).

Checked Out.

life, relationships,

You’ve given everything your all, and you can’t give anymore because then you’d be giving away bits and pieces of yourself. Have you ever reached that moment? It’s a very dangerous place to be in. When you just don’t care simply because you can’t care. There is hope that you can bounce back from these moments and be checked in again, but I’m sure it comes with loads of hard work and dedication. When you consider the reasons you checked out in the first place, you feel reluctant to check in again.

This moment is to be alone. Alone with your thoughts. Alone with the very fibers that make you who you are. You look at yourself, your needs, and your wants under a microscope. You re-evaluate the negoatiables and non-negotiables in your life. What will you deal with? What won’t you?

This moment is to be refreshed. Refresh your mind. Refresh you spirit. Refresh your soul. Find and do what makes YOU happy, because this moment is to be selfish. Do the things that make you whole again, because this moment is also to be broken. Broken hearted. Broken minded. Broken spirited.

I am here, in this moment. I am all of these things.

Dream BIG…

life, ,

…It’s the key to success (after you turn it into a reality). I’ve always dreamed of writing. I would go as far to say, I was born to write. Even though writing is a big dream of mine, I’m a girl of many passions and many BIG dreams. My issue with dreamers though, is that often times the dream is just that…a dream. When I began teaching 10 years ago, I was a part of a very strategic teaching organization that was hefty on goal setting and achieving. They didn’t just make us create goals, they made us create action plans to accompany them. At first, I thought, “wow this is so much work!”  Retrospectively, mapping out how to achieve the goals we set as teachers was brilliant! At the end of the school year we looked at data that either showed how we met or didn’t meet the goal. Having the action plan served as a key component to explain why we did or didn’t meet our goals.

Fast forward a few years, applying the same technique to my personal life seems like a good idea. Lately, I’ve started to write my dreams down with an accompanying action plan. I wish that someone would’ve taught me to apply action planning to my personal life years ago (maybe some of dreams would’ve come true a long time ago, lol). From here on out when I engage in goal setting, I will always include an action plan.

Don’t just Dream BIG. Put a plan of action into place and actually see your dreams come true.

EXAMPLE (not my actual goal):

Goal: Lose 20 pounds in 6 months

Action Plan:

1. Workout 5 days a week/minimum 30 minutes

2. Include cardio, strength training, and stretch training

3. Eat 6 meals a day (3 full, 3 snacks)

4. Go meatless at least 1 day a week

5. Go raw at least 1 day a week

6. No food after 7pm

7.  Follow a calorie planner

8. Record monthly progress

9. Take pride in the small steps 🙂

Sshhh, it’s quiet…

children, family, life, motherhood, ,

…Said no mother ever! In a home with children (I’m convinced of any age) there is ALWAYS noise. Before I had children I’d like to believe my hearing was pristine. Insert nearly 5 years, and hello hearing aides (not literally but at this rate, who knows what the future holds). I love my 3 children dearly. They are all unique and have something both simple and complex to bring to the family table. However, spending every waking moment with them over the last 2 weeks of winter break has been a test that I clearly did not study for. This test mostly consisted of days of fighting, whining, crying, and begging with a few minutes of laughter, smiling, singing, and gratitude. You’d think with my 10 years of teaching experience, I’d be used to all that encompasses childhood drama, BUT it’s something very different when it comes to your own children. It’s like they were born knowing the exact cord to pick to strum your guitar.

Today marks the last day of our precious extended mommy and kid time together (until Spring Break). While most teachers are dreading the wake up call back to reality tomorrow; I couldn’t be happier about returning to work. I’ve gained some true pearls of wisdom during this time. Most importantly, I am NOT cut out to be a stay-at-home-mom. No offense to SAHM’s — you have entered into a new level of awesomeness in my book! I’ve also learned that I do not want to add anymore children to our family (I don’t even want a pet right now). Thankfully, my husband made that a permanent solution a few months ago. However, if there was any doubt that we weren’t finished yet…now we are. Lastly, I’ve realized that this stage in my children’s life is by far the most precious. Even in midst of the noise, I will attempt to cherish every moment.

P.S. As I wrote this post I fed the kids breakfast, changed a diaper, and patched up a boo-boo all to the background noise of crying, fighting, and screaming. I’m reveling in the joys of motherhood!

New Year, New You…Blah

family, life, marriage, , , , , ,

res-o-lu-tion: the act of answering (solving)

With the turning of a new year comes change, hope, and rejuvenation. People contemplate long and hard on how to reinvent themselves. Social media sites are swarming with resolutions and plans for change. I totally get it, you had a shitty year with your spouse; you were a mediocre parent; you didn’t give your all at work; you screwed up with your friends. Do you think just because the calendar turned, it’ll make all of last year’s heartbreak and disappointment disappear? No. Making resolutions are great. Creating a personal plan for change is excellent. However, “faith without works is dead.” If there is no action behind your resolution, it means nothing, People have to make that list of what they strive to do better in the new year. They simultaneously have to create an action plan.

I have 4 areas I want to strengthen this year:

1. Myself

2. My marriage

3. My family

4. My career

Action Plan:

* create a vision board

1. Continue therapy (tell all coming soon); Continue exercise plan

2. Continue therapy; Participate in husband challenge; Pray daily

3.Take a more gentle approach to parenting; Ignore the advice (aka criticism) from non-parents (a later soap box post)

4. Get certified in another area; Take the required credit classes for licensure renewal; Actively seek summer employment

The action plan is the solution of the resolution, without it you’d still be left with the same problems from last year.

Happy New Year!